Comments on The Blogging Parson: The Short Abstract

I didn't even notice you'd gone. What I would like...

2008-05-17T16:46:00.000+10:00

I didn't even notice you'd gone. What I would like to know is how much the thesis weighs. Anything less than 1.5kg and you've been wasting your time. A good weighty thesis is an excellent defence against persecution.

What did y'all THINK i have been doing all this ti...

2008-05-16T19:02:00.000+10:00

What did y'all THINK i have been doing all this time?

Hey Michael,Do you touch on the relationship betwe...

2008-05-16T17:15:00.000+10:00

Hey Michael,
Do you touch on the relationship between the martyr and the martyr-maker/persecutor? Which section is that in?
(I concur with the "I finally get what you're on about" party)

Fabulous Ben. Be careful, or I'll send you the who...

2008-05-16T16:24:00.000+10:00

Fabulous Ben.

Be careful, or I'll send you the whole thesis!

Hi Michael: Looks like a terrific thesis, and a gr...

2008-05-16T09:24:00.000+10:00

Hi Michael: Looks like a terrific thesis, and a great abstract! Since you're into the nitty-gritty, here's a few minor grammatical suggestions (please feel free to disregard):

"a description and an analysis" -- change to "a description and analysis"

"in the lives of some of the inner reality of all" -- so many "ofs"; I can't think of a way to change it, but it would be nice to cut out one of those "ofs" if you can

"conflict of the meaning" -- unclear (to me at least)

"the self as it is revealed in Christian martyrdom" -- are you sure you want to say "revealed" here? It could give the (misleading) impression that you're countering the "secular" theories of self by appealing to a special "revelation"; so maybe you should switch to a less religiously loaded term like "construed" or "narrated" or "as it appears".

"religiously-construed" -- delete hyphen

The clause "in conversation with T. S. Eliot's play..." would be better at the start of that sentence, since it's grammatically ambiguous in its current position ("in conversation" is most naturally linked here to the noun "self-identity", whereas it needs to be linked to "the thesis").

"establishing oneself through security" -- I think "through security" is just a little ambiguous, and the link between establishing/security seems like a bit of a mixed metaphor. An easy solution would simply be "establish oneself securely" / "securely establishing oneself".

Come to think of it, that whole sentence is a little unclear; it's meant to be a list of four things, but the second part of the list ("pursuing the good") sounds like a development of the first part. I reckon the whole sentence would be clearer if you just started each item in the list with "or" (i.e. "not the path of establishing, or pursuing..., or making ..., or seeking..."; I'd delete the "even" in the last clause as well).

"the Christian self is offered ... as an act" -- is the self meant to be an "act" (and not, e.g., an "enactment" or "performer")? Maybe self=act is one of your technical concepts, but I just thought I'd check!

Anyways, sorry if this is a little too nitty-gritty, and please feel free to disregard any of this... We white people just love grammar!

Thanks, this is very good. 2 paras might be an opt...

2008-05-15T22:25:00.000+10:00

Thanks, this is very good.

2 paras might be an option. We are asked to submit two abstracts, a short one (here) and a 1500-2500 wd one - so much of what isn't explained here gets a better go in the longer one.

Your question about MITC is a good one. The play IS indeed a prompt to theological thinking, just as the work of a great theologian might be. I do attempt to use it critically of course: it is helpful insofar as it is a faithful expression of the Scriptures and the tradition. One of the great things about it is that it does get me on to Christology well before I sum the themes in chapters 7 and 8.

I translate periasmo (in the thesis I use a greek font) because my translation in terms of both words is significant, rather than to help out a reader who is ignirant of greek - I am assuming my markers know their Greek somewhat.

Thanks again. Priceless help.

Let me lower the bar further (hence bolstering you...

2008-05-15T22:16:00.000+10:00

Let me lower the bar further (hence bolstering your ego)

In addition to Anthony's comments it seems this is best presented as two paras (is that allowed?), the first giving a punchy synopsis, the second giving the flow of the argument (with the orphaned chapters identified e.g 1-2, 8?).

While I too understand your subject matter a lot better now, I am still not sure why you chose Murder in the Cathedral as a dialogue partner..it reads as if you derive your theology from MITC and then explain it Christologically in chapt 7 (kinda almost makes me think it should be the other way around - I read this out loud and I sort of lost the thread a bit around this point)

Also nit picky- if you are going to translate 'peirasmo' (I assume the j is just a typo/format tag) why not translate 'providentia dei', i.e. all non-english terms?

Getting in early, before the bar of insightfulness...

2008-05-15T20:49:00.000+10:00

Getting in early, before the bar of insightfulness gets raised!

It read oddly to me that chapters 3-7 were tied to their contents, and I felt sorry for chapters 1 and 2. That's just nitpicky, of course.

Perhaps of more value is this: the abstract succeeded in giving me, for the first time, a genuine understanding of what you've been working on...or better, why it matters. This must surely be a Good Thing!

A minor attempt at actual constructive help: it seems like the opening lines could be a little more precise? I was missing the "as opposed to x" from the second sentence. Should it have more teeth?